It happens that in a couple, one of the partners is emotionally addicted, and another one is emotionally distant. The first one wants to be together with the partner all the time, but another one needs more personal space. It is interesting that both aspects of this system do not come out of love at all. Any necessity is an emotional dependence which comes from a deep fear of being rejected. When a person does not know how to cope with their feelings and needs, they make their partner be responsible for them. If you think that everything you do is the result of big and bright love, which your partner simply does not appreciate, look at the following checklist from ukrainian brides to understand whether it’s time to think about leaving a toxic relationship.
- You are responsible for your partner’s mood.
When you become addicted to your partner, your mood directly depends on their psychological state. If they come home upset, you automatically adjust to their mood. For you, their bad mood is a sign that something is wrong with you. To love someone doesn’t mean to be the center of the universe for a specific person.
- Your partner is the main person in your universe.
What is a toxic relationship? If your spouse becomes the meaning of your whole life, this is a sign of emotional dependence and toxic relationship. Only a person who does not experience emotional dependence will feel comfortable and be engaged in other things beyond the couple. However, an addicted person is interested only in their partner. There is nothing wrong with perceiving your couple as the main priority, but the happiness of your partner should not be the meaning of your life. Everything needs a balance because sooner or later, your partner might decide to end a toxic relationship.
- Jealousy is your constant companion.
Emotionally addicted people feel jealousy because they do feel worries when their partners spend time with someone else. Separation, even a small one, becomes a stress and an occasion to ponder whether everything is okay in the couple. If you are really in love, then you will not lose ground every time the partner does something outside of your couple. A healthy relationship implies that both partners need free time and use their mind to get rid of superfluous attachment to each other.
- You perceive a breakup as the end of the world.
When you fall in love with a person, you cannot imagine that this person can leave you. Emotionally addicted person perceive the idea of breakup as a catastrophe of universal scale. You are sure that you will be ready for anything to make a person stay with you, you will even agree to the most unfavorable conditions for yourself. It happens because you cannot imagine how to live on your own. True love is about freedom of choice and respect for a partner. Otherwise, it is one of the signs of a toxic relationship.
- You keep score.
If you ask yourself, “Am I in a toxic relationship?”, think about the following thing. If a couple is in love, they support each other and do not grade. When you depend on your relationship, you can keep score and behave aggressively every time when you think that there is an imbalance in the relationship. For example, if your partner did not reply last night, you decide not to reply today.
- Your love is conditional.
When a person loves their partner only if this person meets their expectations, it’s not about love. In a relationship based on true love and respect, people love each other free of charge. Your feelings should not change every day depending on what your beloved one does or doesn’t do for you.